Ask For Help When Grieving

At times we feel strange asking for help, especially when we are typically independent.  When feeling vulnerable those around you feel useful when you ask for help.  It's okay to sit back and allow others to do for you.  Be kind to yourself.

Helping Someone With Grief

Never be afraid to just check in and ask what would be helpful.  Often times people say they are fine when they would really like to have someone near.  Gently insisting you would like to make tea and visit, or come by to help with errands is good.

Deepest of Sorrows

Stephanie C. Kenney

When my daughter (now 30) was 17 years old, her dear friend was hit by a train and suffered fatal injury.  Her entire youth was spent playing sports with this angel.  They were truly the home town heroes in every sport they ever played.  There was not a week their names were not in the local paper.

Now the shock wave hit our home town.  Stunned by a moment of shock and the clock could not be turned back.

The young girl's mother did something that brought wonder to my daughter and I.  My daughter went to visit her shortly after the Funeral and Steph's mom invited her to pick something from Steph's room.  When they entered the room Steph's mom asked her to sit on the bed and she began to read her daughter's favorite story book to my daughter.  Her loving actions conveyed so much love and understanding to my daughter and they both began the long road of grief and healing together.

Steph's mom reached out to all of the kids in a way I have never seen before.  She had them over, welcomed them and offered them food and fellowship often.  She invited them to tell stories, to laugh and cry with her.  She let them know through being with them, their grief and their laughter was both welcome and okay.

I saw this lovely, vital woman go to the darkest corners of heart and mind in her sorrow and come back again.  The road to her healing was paved with her own love.  I will be forever grateful, she reached out from her sorrow and helped my daughter.

To Move Through Grief Don't Resist It

One can feel overwhelmed and even fearful of their own grief.  The best way to move through it is to allow it and know that it is a process.  In the leaning into grief without resistance, we honor ourselves and begin to heal.

Often times the one left behind in devastation, finds comfort in reaching out to those nearby and caring for loved ones.

It is important to treat one's self as though a gentle, innocent child.  How would you comfort a child? Treat your sweet self the same.

Grief - This Too Shall Pass

All of our feelings and emotions are coming from how our mind processes everything.  In our deepest depths of despair Jesus is telling us to remember "this too shall pass."  The least painful way to experience grief is to not fight or resist it.  When we have the faith that it will pass we can begin to accept and observe it.
Grief comes from the end of dreams.  A dream that is particularly powerful is the one we have in the world with another person.  Someone's leaving us sets off a primal sense of grief and abandonment.  They seemingly leave us through death, divorce and in many other ways in the world.
There is a profound sense of inner stillness when someone is gone.  There is no where to go but within to try and make sense of it all.  This is when we are called to dig down deep into our core and let go.
Trying to resist or judge ourselves for grieving compounds it.  Taking baths...wandering around in our slippers and bathrobe...taking time for stillness is all nurturing and honoring the process.
We are all seeking love and believe it is gone when a loved one is gone.  The Truth is that the love we shared with that Soul...living or not...can never be gone.
We all have heard that Life is eternal and what that really means is that Love is also eternal.  Love never dies and it never goes away because it is within us.
Dreams don't die easily but they do get shaped into beautiful memories.  It's like having a hope chest within... filled with Love... that can be opened and remembered at any time.
May we remember today ...as dreams pass away....This too shall pass....what remains is Love...only the Love was ever real.  Embrace the sorrow...embrace the anger....embrace the fear and allow it all to pass away.  Amen.